Well, there once was a man, and that man had a beard, He shaved off his beard and now he's dead. And there once was a girl, and her husband had a beard, She asked him to shave it off and now she's dead. Now she's dead (now she's dead) Now she's dead (now she's dead) Now he's dead (now he's dead) Now he's dead. Now they're dead (now they're dead) Now they're dead. Grow a beard or you'll be dead. Well the girl and the man, they each had a funeral, The people who attended are now dead. So the grave digger came, to bury the bodies, And he had a beard and can't be killed. Can't be killed (can't be killed) Can't be killed (can't be killed) Had a beard (had a beard) Can't be killed Can't be killed (can't be killed) Can't be killed (can't be killed) Had a beard and can't be killed Well there once was a man and his name was Derryn Hinch, He shaved off his beard and now he's shit. Now he's shit! (Now he's shit!) Now he's shit! (Now he's shit!) Now he's shit! (Now he's shit!) Now he's shit! Now he's shit! (Now he's shit!) Shit! Shit! Shit! (Shit! Shit! Shit!) He shaved off his beard and now he's shit!