I'm not cool
I'm not cool
I'm not cool
'Cause I ain't got no friends on the internet
No friends on the internet
No friends on the internet
Oh my god look at this!
So I'm tappin' on this chick's pic
Got it all goin' on in the profile
She's in ninth grade with a 900k follower count?!
With that killer body and face yet she's a mere child?
I'm here with some girls I sat with in high school in the Meanwhile
This movie playing in the back drop has gotten boring
Why should I be here when They don't have more likes to spare - me
I'd rather cultivate the likes and get them soaring
But sorry not sorry #yolo, gotta keep up appearances
And ahh that shit's annoying
As Bono's album perpetually on my iPhone
And I suspect this whole thing is awkward we wind up ignoring
One another, I get a notif
That leads to another and I'm checking my gram to see the progress
But ahhh really there's no diff
I'm not cool
I'm not cool
I'm not cool
'Cause I ain't got no friends on the internet
No friends on the internet
No friends on the internet
So where the hell are they all at then?
Where the hell are they all at then?
Where my friends on the internet?
Where they at?
I open up tumblr and I notice that there's more of a motivation
One of my posts hasn't even reached 1 million reblogs
Yeah lather me up and coax me
I can't get enough and you all get it up for my posts see
All of my clothes, and you'll feel like you know me
And all the moves that I make
What I do in a day
I'm already planning that selfie that I'm going to take
Then photoshop the shit out of it and you'll all believe
That it's the realest of the real and not one bit fake
And I'll feel real good because I made you all self-deprecate
We wanna be them, so we'll be mean
We'll sell our soul to the hate and every VIP we come across
We'd like them burned at the stake
We all read ourselves as numbers
So when we see the zeros on our photos
And text posts that's a little more than we can take
I'm not cool
I'm not cool
I'm not cool
'Cause I ain't got no friends on the internet
No friends on the internet
No friends on the internet
So where the hell are they all at then?
Where the hell are they all at then?
Where my friends on the internet?
Where they at?
I gotta look good to take more and more nudes
So what my mum makes me eat man, I don't chew
I'm running for the toilet and in, I go spew spew spew
That shit is poisonous it's totally a taboo
Snapchat has poisoned us
And facebook's full of loiterers
They pop up and ask if we could be friends
And say we should hang out on all the weekends
And I say it just depends on -
Wait, wait what the fuck
On my phone screen a wild dick has just been sent
They say I'd look good if I open my legs, bent over a desk
So is this what it means to have friends on the net?
Bursting at the seams but dangling at the fringe it just gets ruinous
And makes me believe I wanna be Kim K, Kendall J, Gigi H, Simon Say
And makes me believe that its not them, it's me, it's just
I'm not cool
I'm not cool
I'm not cool
'Cause I ain't got no friends on the internet
No friends on the internet
No friends on the internet
So where the hell are they all at then?
Where the hell are they all at then?
Where my friends on the internet?
Where they at?