I am running from disaster
I am running from aliens
I can't outrun them, I can't outsmart them
I'm not gonna make it, I'm not Tom Cruise
He might get cut up, a little bloody
But I'll explode, leaving just my shoes
Because
I'm the guy who dies in the first reel of the film
In some disgusting way
I'm the guy who dies in the first reel of the film
In some disgusting way
This is not a metaphor
I am running from aliens
At least I didn't get killed first
At least I'm not that schmucky
But will this whole massacre just pass me by?
Yeah, I should be so lucky
I'm the guy who dies in the first reel of the film
In some disgusting way
Nothing I've learned in my long, but short, life
Will ever have prepared me for today
I mean, let's face it, in a time of global extermination
How many of us are Tom Cruise?
I mean, let's face it, in a time when everyone's getting killed
How many of us are the daughter of Tom Cruise?
Yep, that's right
Yep, you guessed it
I am running from aliens
I hear the laser beam hit my body
I disintegrate into the air
Into millions of dusty pieces
That Tom will wash out of his hair
I'm the guy who dies in the first reel of the film
In some disgusting way
Life is short and well, sort of stupid
But why'd I have to go this way?