They're really doing funerals big these days Oh, have you heard the news It was a big to-do, I don't remember seeing you But what a wonderful chicken szechuan Then I had to go because so and so dropped And there were cameras at the next one But nobody cries, nobody cries Because nothing's really lost Yeah, nobody dies, nobody dies When you live in your own thoughts They're really doing funerals big these days Oh, have you heard the news They're really doing funerals big these days And nobody's got the blues So we raise a toast, but to me most Of the smiles I see are desperate But you never know, and you enjoyed the show And he looked cool in his press kit Don't you try to hard, don't try to grab the shards Just write a letter to the editor 'Scuse me, I beg your pardon, what's that laying in the yard It will smell worse before it gets better They're really doing funerals big these days Oh, have you heard the news They're really doing funerals big these days And nobody's got the blues They once were somber things, buried with wedding rings In the church where they grew up in Now they're in country clubs, with girls in 50's duds Pointing at the bush that they threw up in Have you checked your heart, I think it fell apart Somewhere in the deafening vacuum That's how the family knew, yeah, they were onto you When you took a ham into the bathroom I will not tell you what to do But even now this remains true Don't hang out in bathrooms Don't hang out in bathrooms Don't hang out in bathrooms Don't hang out in bathrooms Don't hang out in bathrooms Don't hang out in bathrooms Don't hang out in bathrooms Don't hang out in bathrooms Don't hang out in bathrooms Nothing good happens in there Oh, the curves are gone New squares are laid upon The grid, tested and old Protect your inner parts 'Cause when the spinning starts A hollow center will not hold They're really doing funerals big these days Oh, have you heard the news They're really doing funerals big these days And nobody's got the blues They're really doing funerals big these days Oh, have you heard the news They're really doing funerals big these days And nobody's got the blues