They're really doing funerals big these days
Oh, have you heard the news
It was a big to-do, I don't remember seeing you
But what a wonderful chicken szechuan
Then I had to go because so and so dropped
And there were cameras at the next one
But nobody cries, nobody cries
Because nothing's really lost
Yeah, nobody dies, nobody dies
When you live in your own thoughts
They're really doing funerals big these days
Oh, have you heard the news
They're really doing funerals big these days
And nobody's got the blues
So we raise a toast, but to me most
Of the smiles I see are desperate
But you never know, and you enjoyed the show
And he looked cool in his press kit
Don't you try to hard, don't try to grab the shards
Just write a letter to the editor
'Scuse me, I beg your pardon, what's that laying in the yard
It will smell worse before it gets better
They're really doing funerals big these days
Oh, have you heard the news
They're really doing funerals big these days
And nobody's got the blues
They once were somber things, buried with wedding rings
In the church where they grew up in
Now they're in country clubs, with girls in 50's duds
Pointing at the bush that they threw up in
Have you checked your heart, I think it fell apart
Somewhere in the deafening vacuum
That's how the family knew, yeah, they were onto you
When you took a ham into the bathroom
I will not tell you what to do
But even now this remains true
Don't hang out in bathrooms
Don't hang out in bathrooms
Don't hang out in bathrooms
Don't hang out in bathrooms
Don't hang out in bathrooms
Don't hang out in bathrooms
Don't hang out in bathrooms
Don't hang out in bathrooms
Don't hang out in bathrooms
Nothing good happens in there
Oh, the curves are gone
New squares are laid upon
The grid, tested and old
Protect your inner parts
'Cause when the spinning starts
A hollow center will not hold
They're really doing funerals big these days
Oh, have you heard the news
They're really doing funerals big these days
And nobody's got the blues
They're really doing funerals big these days
Oh, have you heard the news
They're really doing funerals big these days
And nobody's got the blues