With friends like you I could throw away my TV 'Cause I got it all in spades now All triumph and tragedy And when as a kid with a pocket knife Like a stone from a distance thrown It's a gamblers trick, it's a pain in the dick Must have brought it on myself somehow Hey! With friends like you With friends like you It's a wonder why a guy gets bent You gotta fine, fine way Of draggin' the clouds underneath the sun And those darkened sun suit tea bag cologne And sympathy toasts you all alone You pick me up like a second-hand coat Spit and shine, a Friday night But the things you forget hang around like a bet You're safe 'til they notice the price, price! With friends like you With friends like you It's a wonder why a guy gets bent Yeah, when you're raining on the parades Down in the piss stain with a champagne You got it? When you thought she's holding You like she means it You hold her by the hand Take you somewhere nice and quiet When you thought she's holding You like she means it 'Cause when the going gets tough She'll kick you in the nuts And watch your Christmas list whither and die (die) Die! (Die) With friends like you With friends like you With a French IQ It's a wonder why a guy gets bent