Life tell me what it really means
From my point of view nothing's what it really seems
Trust tell me who to give it been deceived so much I don't even believe in the truth
Physical abuse leaves scars that won't go away
Add on emotional I still struggle day to day
Sometimes I feel I might break but I'll never stop the fight
Haunted by my past but I promise I'm gonna be all right
Hard to really understand cuz I won't let nobody in
Things I've seen with my own eyes could even break the toughest men
Memories of suicide attempts fill up my nightmares
Mom's trying to kill herself again act like I don't care
No relationship with either parent chances are I never will
Probably for the better but that don't mean it don't hurt still
So before you judge the things I've done know what I done been through
So before you judge the things I've done know what I done been through
In the night heaven seems so far
In the night heaven seems so far so far away
Not asking for a pity party that's not what this is about
Thirty two years old but with my past I still have my bouts
Got a lot of issues to this day I ain't dealt with
A real strong person but some days I feel helpless
Since my granny died parts of me will never be the same
Bottle all my pain hoping one day it will go away
Weakness of the mind is what I feel when I let pain show
Celebrate the highs and disguise when I'm feeling low
Tell it like it is ain't the type of guy to tell a lie
Look you in your eye loyalty until my demise
My friends are my family cuz most of them turned they back
Wasn't with me in the gym but to the game wanna get a pass
Chip on my shoulder whole life it's weighed heavy there
Student of the music man of faith so I say my prayers
Hard to enjoy the good times cuz stressin when the bad gone come
Whole life been a struggle on the floor just trying to scrape some crumbs
In the night heaven seems so far
In the night heaven seems so far so far away