I fell asleep at a football game If you ask me, it was pretty lame Tennis matches are not my niche I'd much rather be playing Quidditch If I step on a court I'll trip and die Rather be on a pitch where I can fly You know I can't stand muggle sports Eff this, I'm going to Hogwarts Today I went to the college store To look for something new to wear All they had were boring sweatshirts When I wanted ties and pleated skirts I need a house scarf but there isn't one on your shelf So I'll sit in my dorm and knit one myself Won't wait to get to FAO Schwartz Eff this, I'm going to Hogwarts This week's classes are finally done I gotta get out of here to do something fun I know it's worth it, I have to say But this wizard rock concert's so far away I'm packing up and taking a shower Then I'll sit in my car for seven hours I'm not satisfied with muggle transports Eff this, I'm going to Hogwarts My college life isn't so awful At least I got an acceptance letter But living in Harry's world Has got to be so much better It kinda sucks being all alone When no one talks to me, I just wanna go home It's even harder coming back again When I have less friends than Eloise Midgen I'll survive two more years, no sweat But you've gotta wonder why I haven't left yet I guess I'll wait for Universal Resorts When the theme park's done, I'm going to Hogwarts