My father calls on Sunday evenings Children are suffering somewhere, living in a boldfaced lie And they all probably have my eyes My father says he's turned his life around The devil was dragging him down But he prayed until the dark lord vanished Now his screenplay's almost finished My father's got great taste in ovaries Over and over he's charmed his way into a nice girl's heart But he always leaves before the hardest part You wonder how I got so feminine Well, what have I learned about men? You laugh at that and I do too You say you're sad, but glad I told you And now I kiss your shoulder And now you stroke my hair Your daddy buys you ice cream My daddy's on the welfare My father swears we'll be together soon Maybe once in a blue moon he sends along a birthday present It feels so trite, but hey, what doesn't? My father calls on Sunday evenings Pauses for effect and says, "Church was great today!" My father calls on Sundays