I open my eyes and stare past the ceiling
Wishing I could leave behind what I'm feeling
When it feels like today will be a waste
Even though I'm only just awake
I reach up to the shelf that sits above my head
Drawing in the weight of my existence
I'm always searching for that missing sense of optimism
But it's always blacked out by my tunnel vision
Knowing
No matter the effort this must come to an end
No matter the love, the beauty, the happiness
And these days the eager light feels more intrusive
Ringing in another day that feels useless
And I don't know if I'll ever feel okay
No, I can only hope to get there some day