I swear I wanted to fight, I don't want to hide
Trust me I really tried to open my mind
No matter how I decide
You ain't gonna be by my side
I'm enjoyin the pain til I don't feel alive
Like I don't have a life
It's not the same at first, It's not the pain that hurts
It's that I know you were right
Missin the old days
When I thought she was my soulmate
No wait, I mean times where I thought it was okay, to be down and not feelin okay
I'm at home late, tired of carryin all of my thoughts even though that they got no weight
I fear, it's only bullshit that I write
Yeah I fear, never knowin if I'm right
I fear, that I'mma lose this fight in my mind
And I fear that this fear won't leave my life
Would you even start walking knowin that you will get lost
Or would you be payin a bill, without even knowin the cost
I'm sorry I couldn't decide, but I lost the coin that I tossed
Now I'm just a puppet on all of them strings of my head in the hands of my thoughts
It's late, I'm layin at home in my bed
Just me and my thoughts
And all of the voices, I know they are just in my head
And they're hauntin me down, with every word that I know that I said
All the reasons I know that I had
All the blood that I know that I bled
I was playin with the devil, damn I even knew the deal
Now I know I had to lose her, to even realize how i feel
There's a lot of fake love but I know mine that was real
Only time can show if all of them scars are gonna heal
I swear I wanted to fight, I don't want to hide
Trust me I really tried to open my mind
No matter how I decide
You ain't gonna be by my side
I'm enjoyin the pain til I don't feel alive
Like I don't have a life
It's not the same at first, It's not the pain that hurts
It's that I know you were right