Hey dad, or Sean
I don't really know what to call you I guess.
I've been thinking of what I'd say if I ever got to talk to you. When mom first told me you existed I was 18
And I told myself that we'd never speak,
That you didn't matter.
Now that you're gone I just don't know.
I want to end this
I drew my line in the sand
And now I define who I am as a man
It's time to let go, it's time to let go
I want to go back to the days
Where life wasn't dull or gray
Where I was vibrant,
And alive and,
Had a world that I thought I could thrive in
I wonder every day if you'd be proud of me.
And I wonder how differently life would have been.
I wonder if you thought of me as frequently as I do you.
In the back of my head I always knew I'd want to talk to you later on in life,
The possibility you wouldn't be
There when that say came never even crossed my mind.
I had everything I needed
But time goes by too fast
I was never built to last
Never fucking built to last
We're all spit on and beaten
And life is just a grievance
This is my finale
My ending
I've been breaking more connections
Than I've been mending
It's been about a week since I learned you died.
You know, it sucks,
Because not only do I not know a damn thing about you,
But I didn't even get to go to the funeral.
I know you don't feel the same
Since you never wanted me in your life,
But I love you dad, and I wish you were still here.
I'll see you soon.
Anxiety fills my chest
And lead fills my lungs
I'll put this gun to my mouth
And let the last song be sung