When Archie takes the field it's always a joke When Moose goes for the throw he always chokes Midge was his shining girl, but he cared for you When he finds out what went on, he'll rip him in two Star quarterback He's not the smartest guy around But he seems better built to live a life in this town How did you end up so completely out of luck? This was supposed to be inside my grip You twirl the phone cord now and bite your lip When plans don't measure up his blood gets hot If he can't screw his head on, let's take it off Turn the tables on you And do the things you said you'd do He held you down Collar twists in clenched fist Wait for the blows It's on you now How do you measure your life up? Is it by the yards?