The thing that you love most is your fifty silver roaches
When you were out of oil, you put them in my hair for a while
But I made you a bad hostess when I walked outside in the rain
To get your Sunday papers, and ruined all of your fun
That's the most heinously inconsiderate thing I've ever done
Fifty crystal trees were planted outside my door
I went outside for my constitution and now my head is sore
From your beautiful trees. I heard your trees then scream
There were standing not a one
That's the most heinously inconsiderate thing I've ever done
We had a wonderful party with hairy green gnomes and elves
Who drooled and danced and sang and sang and gave me a perm on my legs
Wasn't it wonderful? Wonderful! Neanderthal! Anbesol?
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So I stayed in a corner and played with special friends
Invisible and ageless, who ate their special things
And the gnomes and the elves all died in their sleep
In a heap. How unneat! There were standing not a one
That's the most heinously inconsiderate thing they've ever done