I really didn't mean For it to fall apart I tried not to tell the truth But I couldn't play the part I really didn't mean For it to end like it did I was full of good intentions But I was losing my shit Still I wait to wait to let you in I'm naked on a pinnacle in the wind I tremble, I hide For my catcher in the rye I'm sick of running toward that cliff I'm tired of trying not to cry I'm scared I try to find my reasons why I feel compelled to look away When I get a tear in my eye When will I be old? When will I be sober? Have much disappointment do I need Before I trust what I think I see? Have I been heartbrokеn enough To know when love is rеally love? Have I doubted myself enough To call my own bluff? Still I wait to try my hand I'm still a critic in the stands I feel I'm ready, but I don't know If I'm bulletproof enough for the blow I'm tired of the taste Of cynic's spit in my mouth There's never enough dopamine in a day To know exactly how I'll make it out I tell myself that I'll leave today Tomorrow I'll figure out how