Clocking in, hasn't been more than twelve or so Hours since I last clocked out into the freezing snow Wooden toys, hewn with joy, wrapped in crimson bows Glass of sherry, let's get merry, here we fucking go! Ten thousand iPads a week A million gingerbread dreams Projected figures look bleak And now the pressure's on We needed somewhere to sleep The festive labour was cheap We worked through frostbitten cheeks And now we've had enough! Lying dead in the cold red snow! Every night hitting eight, Santa takes a break Smokes his way through a pack before he mans the sleigh Rudolph and the gang seem to hate him just as much When it's done, they'll trample him into the sleeting mush! Ten thousand iPads a week A million gingerbread dreams Projected figures look bleak And now the pressure's on We needed somewhere to sleep The festive labour was cheap We worked through frostbitten cheeks And now we've had enough! Lying dead in the cold red snow! My fellow elves, the time has come to end this toxic servitude For too long we have been cobblers and toymakers, paid with naught but cheap candycanes The only way to break the festive illusion is to eliminate the fat red fool who hoards the wealth of Christmas away from us all! Ten thousand iPads a week A million gingerbread dreams Projected figures look bleak And now the pressure's on We needed somewhere to sleep The festive labour was cheap We worked through frostbitten cheeks And now we've had enough! We're working two days a week Living the gingerbread dream Our health insurance is preem And now the pressure's off We don't need nowhere to sleep My wallet flows evergreen We're feeling flushed in the cheeks Let's get our party on! Lying dead in the cold red snow! Lying dead in the cold red snow! Lying dead in the cold red snow!