How many years now has supply been short of demand? Now the budget's cut again with no additional staff I cut some corners, and trimmed some fat An eight billion loss, how do I explain that? The stats don't lie, but the children will cry If they don't wake up with the latest toys ♪ How many elf unions must I bust to keep our Christmas presents free? Now the festive bubble is about to pop on the top of the Christmas tree ♪ I am missing you like an iPad missing screws Because I'm falling into pieces, it's true And though the fire's burning bright, there's a chill left by my side Now that you're gone, I'm left feeling so blue How many elf unions must I bust to keep our Christmas presents free? Now the festive bubble is about to pop, and everyone will see! I've given almost everything To you spoilt brats and your snotty-arsed friends You gave me a drinking problem, and shit mince pies But they won't bring back my cold, dead wife ♪ I am missing you like an iPad missing screws Because I'm falling into pieces, it's true And though the fire's burning bright, there's a chill left by my side Now that you're gone, I'm left feeling so blue And I know that I'm wrong to turn away from my job If the elves could walk a mile in my shoes I never ask for much back So please cut me some slack I know from up there, you'd disapprove I am missing you like an iPad missing screws Because I'm falling into pieces, it's true And though the fire's burning bright, there's a chill left by my side Now that you're gone, I'm left feeling so blue ♪ What's the point? I give up My reindeers took their cut I'm hopeless, livid, addicted The elves have stolen my Christmas Weed smoking, booze, drinking, cheap pills Take anything when there's nothing to lose Loose women, cheap candy, cruise, it's not fulfilling Constantly consuming whatever makes me feel numb! Whatever makes me feel numb Whatever makes me feel numb Whatever makes me feel numb! Constantly consuming whatever makes me feel-