Our. great Mikado, virtuous man,
When he to rule our land began,
Resolved to try
A plan whereby
Young men might best be steadied.
So he decreed, in words succinct,
That all who flirted, leered or winked
(Unless connubially linked),
Should forthwith be beheaded.
And I expect you'll all agree
That he was right to so decree.
And I am right,
And you are right,
And all is right as right can be!
And you are right,
And we are right, .
This stern decree, you'll understand,
Caused great dismay throughout the land!
For young and old
And shy and bold
Were equally affected.
The youth who winked a roving eye,
Or breathed a non-connubial sigh,
Was thereupon condemned to die –
He usually objected.
And you'll allow, as I expect,
That he was right to so object.
And I am right,
And you are right,
And everything is quite correct!
And you are right,
And we are right, etc.
And so we straight let out on bail
A convict from the county jail,
Whose head was next
On some pretext
Condemnëd to be mown off,
And made him Headsman, for we said,
'Who's next to be decapited
Cannot cut off another's head
Until he's cut his own off.'
And we are right, I think you'll say,
To argue in this kind of way;
And I am right,
And you are right,
And all is right – too-looral-lay!
And you are. right,
And we are right, etc.