Just got in from the local Had to try the local brew And i run into the local gossip and i learned a thing or two About you local yokels And what yous get up to And he read me your pedigrees and I'll read em back to you He said the local chefs a poofter The local docs a drunk The local priest likes little boys bums And the local cops a cunt I said the local cops a What did i say? The local cops a cunt The local mayors a fucking dickhead His wifes the local snob, The local bank managers a fucking wanker and so's the local cop. The local sparky's a fucking cowboy The local plumbers making a mint The local undertakers a fucking weirdo And the local lawyers full of shit The local bookie's a shonky bastard The local race is fucking rigged The local publican ought to be fucking hung for watering down the piss The local pollie's a fucking gin jockey And heres something else i know The local cricket team aint worth fucking shit The local footy teams a fucking joke The local butchers full of blow flies The local dogs are full of fleas The local barbers a fucking butcher The local kids are fucking thieves The local car yard is a fucking rip-off And so's the local show And the local cops a dead set cunt but i mentioned that a minute ago When i said The local chefs a poofter The local docs a drunk The local priest likes little boys bums And the local cops a cunt I said the local chefs a poofter The local docs a drunk The local priest likes little boys bums And the local cops a cunt I said the local cops a what did i say? The local cops a cunt Big finish. The local cops a cunt