Not a night I'm not hitting the bed sky high
When my home don't feel nothing like Seaside
And the carrot is kept at a distance
Just outside the furthest reach of both my hands
What was I thinking
Making such choices
In the midst of confusion
And existential dread
And the pressure of moving?
That's what I get
For telling myself I'm losing
While I hold gold
And it's contagious
A week alone
I might not make it
You light my phone
And it's contagious
You bat an eye
I just can't take it
Dream another scene, clean and alive
Like the first time it was lived, fully revived
I wanted you then
But I said nothing
So my head made friends
With the wall again
Some lady in some office was drinking hand sanitizer
Just to stomach her work day
And I feel like we'd be friends
And get real drinks on weekends
I think about our fictional hangouts
And it's comforting somehow
Even pain can feel good
When it has some room to spread out
Dream another scene, clean and alive
Like the first time it was lived, fully revived
I wanted you then
But I said nothing
So my head made friends
With the wall again
Now my heart sings in the day
What it used to keep muffled
'Til the moon could find my face
And I'm high on the smell of your hair
And I've got some bad ideas swimming upstairs