Yeah, where do I start?
Feel like I'm losing myself
I know I am messed up inside
But how am I wrong for refusing to help?
I feel like it can't be fixed
Maybe I am stuck in the dark
I just don't think all the pills can fix the pain in my heart
So I guess it is pointless
I lay in the dark in my sorrow, today I just gave it my all
But there isn't enough for tomorrow
Because I am tired of the pain, I am tired of fighting
Just tell me what it is worth
To give my all to these people, for me to be selfless?
Just to be filled with this hurt
What is the point?
'Cause I cannot see anymore
I feel like there is no point in living my life
'Cause I am not me anymore
And they say it gets better, but it's been forever
So I don't think I believe it
It properly gets better with time, but I won't be here to see it
But please don't be mad
It's not that I am weak, I am just tired
I wish that my heart wasn't broken
'Cause then I could work on my mind
But life isn't fair I know, and not being happy is killing me
I try to be vocal, they listen
But I don't think that you're hearing me
I hate that I am broken
I hate that I am stupid
I hate that I fell like a mistake
I hate when I am talking to God
I feel like he don't listen in times when I pray
I hate that I look in the mirror
And I hate the man lookin' back
I hate that I am so insecure
I just wish you'd understand
Mama if you listen, please don't be mad
I know what I am doing ain't right
Your son isn't perfect
I am not a fighter, I want you to know that I tried
I want you to know that I love you
But lately, I don't feel like me
It was nothing that you did, you did what you could
It's something that is wrong with me
Since I was young, I've always felt like this
I never thought that I belonged
And this isn't because I am depressed
It's 'cause I feel so alone
It's 'cause I feel like a burden
I am always living with grief
I've always felt like the problem, and that's why everyone leaves
But really, I'm sorry, I know you wanted what's best for me
The world has been taking my soul
But I leave you everything left in me
I love you forever and always
To the moment that you know I am gone
That moment is sooner than later
I love you, sincerely your son