It's that time of year for goin' shopping! It's that time of year for seein' Grandma! It's that time of year for lying to children! That's right, Santa doesn't exist It's that time of year for hatin' fruitcake! It's that time of year for drinkin' eggnog! It's that time of year for bakin' a mince pie! Betcha money by the end of the year, you'll be fat! ♪ Toys-a-plenty and choo-choo trains Summer sausage and candy canes Wal-Mart Santa coin donations Salvation Army dedications Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers hit the malls and drive the economy Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers do your stuff And make us all glad to be home! Home Home from work About damn time I get a day off! It's that time of year for hanging stockings! It's that time of year for gingerbread men! It's that time of year for getting a fake tree! Decorate or you're not gonna eat It's that time of year for watching reruns! It's that time of year for roasting chestnuts! It's that time of year for opening presents! Don't forget, better clean up the mess that you made! Christmas music overplayed Every minute of every day Find a present for your mother Then your dad and then your brother! Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers hit the malls and drive the economy Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers do your stuff And make us all glad to be home! ♪ It's that time of year for cheesy sweaters! It's that time of year for fuzzy earmuffs! It's that time of year for footed pajamas! You know the ones with the hole in the butt It's that time of year for family drama! It's that time of year for lots of drug use! It's that time of year for having a breakdown! Holidays are the days that will make you hate life