Bruce Campbell is the finest man to grace a silver screen
All the other actors just degrade his noble scenes
The Oscars should award him for his wondrous career
Hold a town parade for him with each movie premiere
Bruce Campbell! We're gonna be best friends
Gonna come to your house and watch
Hercules from season one till the end
I'll hand you everything I own and you'll sign it all for me
Then we'll start
Rehearsing for
Cave Alien 3
Bruce Lorne Campbell should be offered every lead
Imagine him as Spider-Man
A finer choice indeed
Casablanca could've been improved if Campbell would've said
Here's lookin at you
You primitive screwhead
Bruce Campbell Dert dert da dert dert dert
Gonna come to your house and put Xena on
And not sleep till it's done
I got the whole box set for Brisco County, too
I love you and to prove it's true I'm gonna play a kazoo
Bruce Ash Campbell is a truly stellar man
He bravely fought the Deadites but a chainsaw took his hand
Coincidentally, I have one I barely ever use
I'll saw it off and ship it to the charming, handsome Bruce
Bruce Campbell, I need the measurements for your chin
Gonna get me a jawbone
Implant and I'm gonna be your twin
Then I'll get me a tattoo of your face
And put it right on my, face
Then we'll fly into outer space and
Hey Bruce, where are you going
Bruce Campbell (gonna find you)
You can't hide from me! I found your house
On Google Maps and just watched you
Go pee! When I find you, I'm gonna clone you
Take your DNA against your will
I'll make 8,000 Bruce Campbells
To build Bruce Campbellville