(I'll tell her that, "I told you so", then fuck you up)
Ashley has a tendency to fall for bad guys
Caroline, she likes 'em sweet, and Zoey likes when they lie
Victoria has some daddy issues
She likes 'em older, kinda mean with tattoos
Every Sunday, we hold what I call a "town meeting"
Go over dos and don'ts, who got away, and who's cheating
"Saw Joey with Makayla", "Ugh, he left me on read"
He said, "I miss you", and I ended up back in his bed
Don't do something you'll regret
Oh, I meant it when I said
"Hurt her and you'll end up dead"
Break her heart and you're also breaking mine
I'm the one she calls when you make her cry
Had her convinced that she was the only one
I'll tell her that, "I told you so", then fuck you up
Saw the warning signs when all she saw was wow
A guy like you is always gonna let her down
If you're thinking that she'll be a crazy ex
Let me introduce you to her crazier best friend
Lucky for you today, I kinda feel like being nice
So we don't have to bring up how you love to lie 'bout your height
A mummy's boy, it's kinda weird
If you want commitment, you won't find it here
(She literally needs to go to therapy)
Break her heart and you're also breaking mine
I'm the one she calls when you make her cry
Had her convinced that she was the only one
I'll tell her that, "I told you so", then fuck you up
Saw the warning signs when all she saw was wow
A guy like you is always gonna let her down
If you're thinking that she'll be a crazy ex
Let me introduce you to her crazier best friend
(Like he's literally balding)
(Crazier)
Rule one, never ever get attached
Rule two, better master your revenge
Rule three, get together all his exes
Post a picture and unblock him, always gonna be so desperate
Rule four, never show him that you care
Rule five, promise after him, you won't cut your hair
Rule six, if he wanted to he would
A guy that really loves you is gonna treat you right
Break her heart and you're also breaking mine
I'm the one she calls when you make her cry
Had her convinced that she was the only one
I'll tell her that, "I told you so", then fuck you up
Saw the warning signs when all she saw was wow
A guy like you is always gonna let her down
If you're thinking that she'll be a crazy ex
Let me introduce you to her crazier best friend