Well Cookie said to get us a house ape (House Ape, House Ape) Too little time, too many chores Everybody wants their own primate (House Ape, House Ape) To sweep and mop the living room floors Well everybody loves a monkey (House Ape, House Ape) And I love a monkey too I even have a Paul Frank wallet But that's like from 2002 Who would have thought That we could afford A domesticated [??] of our own A cook and a maid and security and a pet And a real life monkey in our home Do you remember when Baby Caesar (House Ape, House Ape) Was born at the L.A. Zoo I was that excited and I said "Oh, House Ape! Go clean up my room!" Oh yes we've got a house ape (House Ape, House Ape) I'm having the time of my life If it wasn't hairy and smelly It might be the perfect wife (Hey, Baby) Who would have thought That we could afford A domesticated [??] of our own A cook and a maid and security and a pet And a real life monkey in our home Stop your monkeying around It's time you straighten right out It's time that you fold my laundry Or else I'll take you back to the zoo Oh, House Ape A message to you, House Ape A message to you (Get your dirty paws off of me) Well things are great Yeah they're just great I kinda wish it back to how it was 'Cause Cookie loves a wookie And it's better than nookie But I'm having my doubts because Chandeliers aren't monkey bars Hand gets stuck in the cookie jar Not as tidy as you'd think It leaves hair in the sink Gave the neighbors quite a fright Stays up late watching Xena all night Can't do sign language, that's not all It just pooped in the hall So we decided to get rid of the House Ape (House Ape, House Ape) Shot it with a tranquilizer dart Then we dressed it up like a clown (House Ape, House Ape) And set it free in Miles Square Park