Saw a man in a bar with his hair like a lady Bloody thorns round his ears like he was a crazy He had holes in his hands and a cross for a spine Crushed a berry in his Perrier and called it wine He said, There's great sadness in life, but don't sit there and bulb: Here's some tickets for your friends to the Jesus Stag Night Club!? I can't remember where I was last night Think I was hanging naked off a church spire Tied by my ankles to a weathervane Felt like I was Jesus on fire Cuffed to the bumper of a big truck I begged my dad to take me to a strip bar Drank kerosene slammers through my eyeballs Drove myself home in a stolen car Turn a bird upside down and it lies in your fingers like a dead man When you throw it in the air it's resurrected from your hand We went to a motel, he showed me his Bible I said,Tell me the truth, while he looked me in the eyeball He said, There's great happiness in life but don't just sit there in love: Here's some tickets for your friends to the Jesus Stag Night Club!? I can't remember where I was last night Think I was getting on a night bus Lyin' on the laps of my good friends Judas Priest and Lazarus I'm getting married in the big bad morning But it feels like I'm giving birth I feel so happy I could scream This is my last few seconds on Earth? Saw a man in the street lying on the floor beaten up He had a fish finger sandwich and a yellow-handled coffee cup I bent down drunk and tried to pick him up But when I turned around I could see it was Jesus I can't remember where I was last night Think I was hanging on a church spire Tied by my ankles to a weathervane Felt like I was Jesus on fire Cuffed to the bumper of a big truck I begged my dad to take me to a strip bar Drank kerosene slammers through my eyeballs Drove myself home in a stolen car I can't remember where I was last night Think I was getting on a night bus Lyin' on the laps of my good friends Judas Priest and Lazarus I'm getting married in the big bad morning But it feels like I'm giving birth I feel so happy I could scream This is my last few seconds on Earth!?