I should know better by now
Not to burden those around me
My head can't seem to focus
My gaze shines with its absence
My eyes they barely close
I would hurt myself again
If it wouldn't hurt you too
When it's silent I'm shaking
Sometimes I wish you knew
How close I was to disappear
Every night spend in hope
Of forgetting the memories
That I once was
I once was
Someone who never
Planned ahead this far
My intentions always seem to disappoint
I hold myself accountable
For never being good enough
I don't have the strength to let you go
But wouldn't blame you if you chose to leave
If you chose to leave
I'm sorry that I closed my eyes
Pretended to ignore the fights
I never saw how my self harm
Would replicate itself in you
In hindsight I see clearly now
How my behavior dragged you down
My negligence for your concerns
Is what pushed you away
When you put out the bedroom light
And we laid together in the dark
The cold sheets seemed to represent
Preservation from your end
As I was desperately clinging on
For you to never leave me alone
The love that you asked for
Was something I could never give
The worst part is knowing that you'd been better off
Without me
My intentions always seem to disappoint
I hold myself accountable
For never being good enough
I don't have the strength to let you go
But wouldn't blame you if you chose
If you chose to leave
I wouldn't blame you if you chose to leave
I wouldn't blame you if you chose to leave
I wouldn't blame you if you chose to leave
I wouldn't blame you if you chose to leave
I wouldn't blame you if you chose to leave