Oh Elliot Plum, the hard earnest one of all of my good friends Had a wife named Marguerite who loved him for pretend Nevermind how the story starts I'll tell you how this ends He'd step out to the back she put her lipstick on my neck Oh Madame Plum Man I hate to have to eat and run But your husband and the Mossberg pump got me on their minds Oh Madame Plum Man I hate to have to ruin the fun But your husband and the Mossberg pump got me on their minds She got 'em good like I knew she would then weeks had come to pass My old intrepid tendencies found a tavern off the map Petrified I called a quarter ride it was Marguerite at last She grabbed a rounded taste then wrapped her legs around my waist Oh Madame Plum Man I hate to have to eat and run But your husband and the Mossberg pump got me on their minds Oh Madame Plum Man I hate to have to ruin the fun But your husband and the Mossberg pump got me on their minds Oooooh oh Madame Plum You done us both so wrong I been running for too long And quite frankly, I'm tired Oh, Madam Plum I think I hear Elliot now And this time I'ma stand my ground I swear by it Oh! Elliot Plum! Of all my friends you were the best, But if you take one more step, Its certain death! Oh, now see, Guess that's the way it had to be All thanks to Marguerite Ooooooh, Madame Plum Man I hate to have to eat and run But your husband and the Mossberg pump had me on their minds Oh Madame Plum Man I hate to have to ruin the fun But your husband and the Mossberg pump had me on the ruuun Oh Madame Plum Man I hate 'cha made me do what I done Now your husband in an 'ol pine box gots em on the ground Oh Madame Plum Now I'm truly out here on the run Because these sorries and these canines cryin got my scents and gun