I'm so afraid to die
Sometimes at night I lay awake and cry
Even though I know I'm only wasting time
Been tryna keep the faith alive
And chase this dream to satiate my pride
But these mistakes I made still hate to see me shine
I know it takes these things some time
And we just live the fate that he decide
But the process might just make me change my mind
You see the places that we've climbed
But you don't see the places we declined
To call our homes and kick our feet up and recline
This a letter to my daughter I'm sorry I wasn't there for you
To tell the truth I was way too under prepared for you
Dealing with myself made it hard to properly care for you
But regardless I should have never disappeared on you
Now that we rebuilding I hope you know that I'm so different
Used to blame your mama but truth be told we were both trippin'
Now I sit alone and I ask myself why the hope missing
Probably 'cause my baby girl 7 and we aint close
If it's true the things they say about never being too late
To right my wrongs I swear to God baby, I'll start today
Let me do the things I say just to prove to you there's a way
To get the trust I lost from you back in an honest way
Because I'm so afraid to die
Sometimes at night I lay awake and cry
Even though I know I'm only wasting time
Been tryna keep the faith alive
And chase this dream to satiate my pride
But these mistakes I made still hate to see me shine
I know it takes these things some time
And we just live the fate that he decide
But the process might just make me change my mind
You see the places that we've climbed
But you don't see the places we declined
To call our homes and kick our feet up and recline
This a letter to my father I'm sorry that I was hard on you
I realize that I disregarded the scars on you
I realize that the blame that I would let fall on you
Probably could have gotten divided between us all and you
Still never fought or shifted the blame
I used to ignore your calls and you never did me the same, I mean
We both got shit that we probably wish we could change
But the difference between us two is you didn't bitch or complain
And dear mama, I'm so happy you found yourself again
Depression scary when nothing seems to be helping it
The truth get ugly and comfort in it is seldom
It's always gon' hurt you worse than it can help
That's why I'm so afraid to die
Sometimes at night I lay awake and cry
Even though I know I'm only wasting time
Been tryna keep the faith alive
And chase this dream to satiate my pride
But these mistakes I made still hate to see me shine
I know it takes these things some time
And we just live the fate that he decide
But the process might just make me change my mind
You see the places that we've climbed
But you don't see the places we declined
To call our homes and kick our feet up and recline