Everyone knows the story
Of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ
But this is the story
Of another more powerful Christmas savior
The snow's falling down
It's Christmastime again
A woman has to get a gift for some girl at work named Jen
She doesn't know what Jen likes and she doesn't super care
So she goes inside a closet just see what crap's in there
In the darkness, there's a light
Then suddenly she sees the Christmas savior's here tonight
It's a candle, a plain peach candle
It's been sitting by a bike pump for a year (for a year)
She takes the candle, dusts off the candle
Then wraps it up for Jen and just says, "Here."
Then one day after this in foggy London town
Two acquaintances are having tea when one puts a present down
The other says, "Wait, what?
"I mean, I got you something, too."
Then she rummages inside her purse for some garbage that will do
A hand it settles on
Something that she had just gotten from her boyfriend's mom
It's a candle, that same peach candle
Regifted 'round the world in just one day (just one day)
Oh thank you, candle
The one true candle
The candle we all get then give away
But here's a warning
When you give the candle, that is all that you need
Don't pair it with a lotion or some lame little cream
A lot of people think two gifts are better than one
But that just makes each gift seem smaller and dumb
So just give the candle
Don't overthink the candle
It's passed to every single woman and most gays
We all get the candle
We all give the candle
That nine-dollar candle
That almost rude candle
We're joined by the candle
It's the gift of having a gift to give away
The gift of having a gift to give away
Thank you, candle