Sunday nights that you want a Black velvet cake Sweet heart can bargain Half price mistakes She will go down with her ship Like a good captain You're sitting on the dock playing for An audience of one Ooo Ooo Pacing your apartment, linoleum floors Get a call from an old friend She never like them before He will drive all over three lanes You sit tight, shotgun When she rifles waving for An audience of one You came out from the country Wearing momma's clothes You were born in the city Daddy's dominos You need a record you can move to Well we got one Drop the needle We are playing for an audience of one Drop the needle We are playing for an audience of one One gets all of you, two jealous Three get even less Four divides you up then you're left Pleasing all your guests Reach out your pointed finger And touch the globe Spin around and where it stops You've got to pack your bags and go Land in the Mohave Desert Sing for the sun Three's too many when you're playing for An audience of one Two's too busy when you're playing for An audience of one One is the only way playing for An audience of one Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo Ooo