All this time feels wasted
It feels cut and pasted
From the page of a book I'm skimming
My shirt is stained with lipstick
It feels anachronistic
Yesterday felt like the beginning
You told me once or twice
You hate when people lie
And I know it doesn't matter, but I haven't forgot
I don't think that's what scared me
I just think I'm preparing to fight an uphill battle that you're not
I don't wanna change you just to fit in my head
I know this thing isn't dead, but I think I'm killing it
I know that you mean it, all those things that we said,
But I've been acting my ass off, I'm just killing it
All those lies I've been telling you
I wish they wouldn't count if I still want them to be true
But I know I've been missing my old cold, empty bed
Ghosts can fill it instead when I'm done killing this
I'm on a desert island
You know where to find it,
Only if I invite you over
But when the day has ended,
And I know where you're headed
I just wish the sun could sink slower
I'd hate to see you hurt,
But there's just no kind of words
I could use to patch up all the holes I would make
But I know you'd hate me more
If you knew I was searching for
A way to break your heart without the pain
I don't wanna change you just to fit in my head
I know this thing isn't dead, but I think I'm killing it
I know that you mean it, all those things that we said,
But I've been acting my ass off, I'm just killing it
All those lies I've been telling you
I wish they wouldn't count if I still want them to be true
But I know I've been missing my old cold, empty bed
Ghosts can fill it instead when I'm done killing this
It's only our favorite place cuz the food is good
Its only our song cuz it's your favorite band
And I'm nervous all the time,
I'm dealing with it fine,
But thats not because you're holding my hand
I don't wanna have you just to say that I do
You're not just a wish to come true, so I'm killing this
Please make me the villain, cuz I think I will, too
Better me than you when I'm killing this
All those lies that you don't believe
I'm not the better man, don't expect me to come clean
But know that I am hoping for someone you'll find
That can ease your mind when I'm done killing this