Why you keep calling
It's like 8 in the morning
I don't wanna work outside it's pouring,
Gray day for a gray life
Great day for a great mind
But i can't find peace so i just waste time
Heyday when i got signed
4 years deep now mum's getting tired
Told mum she'd retire soon
Never came through
Bittersweet taste in the mouth when you realize
That your parents work harder than you
I'm 22, living in bed
Can't face the dread like when i skipped school
Never broke rules but i puked cause of stress
So i never showed up and they told me it's cool
Thanks miss you really saved my life
I would've dropped out
And then i dropped doubts taking off in the night
Few years later something's not right
So tell me what's wrong
What can i do leave me alone and exit the room
Tell them i say hi hope i'll be back soon
I saw all the texts but i just can't reply
Cause i feel like i'm dying or gonna die soon
I know it's probably not true
Thought i was the best for a while meanwhile
They overtook me on the way to the moon
Thanks for believing in me but it wasn't the right move
My biggest fans are my haters and they hate you too
This one's for the real ones
Who would ask how i'm doing
But when i said great
They'd be like no way, stop capping and tell me the truth
Cause i see through your bullshit
I know it's not ego, what's on your mind?
Around then if you knew me i'd probably start crying
You know bout my family, you know i get upset quick on the real
And i say it's not a big deal but it's a big deal
Cause i feel so shit that i can't stay still
And we'd open up, but the weed got me stuck
So i'm way more numb
My friends don't like me mentality is how you end up with none
Back to mum
All the summers when i was you'd be at work and you'd
In brooklyn
Act like it's fun
And you say you don't mind
So i never said thanks
That's real dedication to climb up the ranks just to provide
Kids are your life
And when it's not me it's the ones on the street
Dreams of utopia, real actions speak louder than words
So my mum helps refugee kids on the weekend
While i'm in bed smoking weed with my girl
Even on weeknights
When you'd be out doing good that was weed nights
Come home late act like i'm asleep
And hope you don't realize
So i'm up all night, toss and turn
Got a plan but it didn't pan out, taciturn
Yeah i don't talk much, and i'm always in a rush
If you slow me down that'll be my downturn