Were you even there back then?
Cause you're a blur in my memory
You, but not the way that I felt
Not the colors, sounds and smells
Before all the stress came
Before the poison in my veins
And the nights I forget, I let so many years turn to lost time
Turn to lost time
When Christmas comes I'll
Be thinking about you, dear
Cause that's what Christmas
Has been like every year
When clock strikes midnight
I wander around the street
Staring at the blinking lights
Wondering how it could have been
If you had never left
If this was just pretend
My head echoes your soaring voice
This time of year I have no choice
I see all families celebrate
I turn to my old videogame, my best friend
And my companion, since you made that one decision
The worst you ever made
The most tempting mistake sometimes
For a while
I make believe you're still alive
My heart turns itself inside out
When Christmas comes I'll
Be thinking about you, dear
Cause that's what Christmas
Has been like every year
When clock strikes midnight
I wander around the street
Staring at the blinking lights
Wondering how it could have been
If you had never left
If this was just pretend
No, I don't miss you
I miss the times we didn't have
And if you only knew
How much I needed you
You'd come home for Christmas
And tell me where the fuck have you been
How much you miss me
When Christmas comes, I'll
Be wishing it was a dream
The days you were here
All the things you said to me
When Christmas comes I'll
Be thinking about you, dear
Cause that's what Christmas
Has been like every year
When clock strikes midnight
I wander around the street
Staring at the blinking lights
Wondering how it could have been
If you had never left
If this was just pretend