This morning I made myself a bhuna for breakfast
You can't call me lazy but I think that I might be depressed
I've been to the doctor for this sort of thing before
They just say drink more water, get plenty of rest
If I had my bhuna around four hours later
Would that be more acceptable?
I just thought that it would make me happy again
Enjoying food not caring whether I'm respectable
Lately I've been finding that I don't enjoy things anymore
I used to spend all day on GTA and that would be enough
Or I'd read a massive book over the course of several days
But the joy has gone away and I no longer find pleasure in stuff
And things, material things
Records, books and second hand Casio keyboards on ebay
Surrounded by the fruits of lifelong overspending
There's just no longer any joy in these things
And people, that's another thing, I've always hated everyone
Mannerisms, small talk, what's the point
Christ they make me sick
Someone told me to call the Samaritans
But that would involve talking to another person
And I've already explained how I feel about people
And I think I'm a dirty window that no one can see through
I'm all out of options and it's a dumb idea but maybe
It's time to try all the drugs listed in Feel Good Hit of the Summer
But then that's temporary, it's not good to be high all the time
I imagine the comedown would be an absolute
Nightmare, nightmare, an absolute nightmare
I've never done heroin but I've seen Trainspotting
And I think the moral of the story was don't do heroin
Or drop your drugs in the toilet, or something
As ever, I'm no closer to an answer than I was before
Started thinking about what the root cause of my problem is
I know I find joy in creating, literally anything
So here's a picture of a dog I drew while we were talking