If you can Raise the flag and wave her Never grant a favor Smile and tell 'em maybe Always kiss the baby Give the kid a locket Out of daddies pocket Have him thank you for the crime My friends the practice you're indulging in is politics Yes it's politics, simply politics You pay a fella seven dollars and he kicks back six You're in politics every time If you can Please the big employers And the workers lawyers Keep 'em busy fighting, while the fish are biting Don't improve conditions Cept for politicians Then demand a little peace My boy the papers have a name for it, it's politics, Yes, it's politics Filthy politics If you can treat the general public like a bunch of hicks You're in politics, yes siree You must be, either high or lofty Or a regular softy Smart administrator Or a second-grader Stern and superhuman Or like Harry Truman Then you'll really make it pay The occupation that's designed for you is politics Often called the fix But it's politics If you can mingle with the Dutchmen and the Irish micks You're in politics, what the hay You spell it p-o-l-i-t-i-c-s My platform Is a chicken for every pot! That's politics what the hey!