The fear is rising
I can't control myself
I want to do it
No, I NEED to do it
Fuck, another compulsion
I Need to give in
Some relief it gives
But at what cost
THIS IS MY MENTAL AUTOMUTILATION
Fucking Endless Pointless rumination
A vicious circle
To which I give in
I'm obsessed - so possessed
I can not stop thinking
I dig myself in deeper
My-own-mental-grave
Endless cycle I cannot take it
The suffering
Is maddening
This misery
Is crippling
THIS HORRID LIFE
CONSTANT PAIN AND FUCKING JOYLESS
It needs to stop right now
There is only one way out of this
I'll no longer be
My own mind's slave
I tie a noose
Never thought it would come to this
Stick my head in
Still so hesitant
Step on a chair
Feel my heart pounding
But not for much longer
One last deep breathe
And I step off
God, no what have I done
Instant regret but now to late
Dying alone is now my fate
My own mind's slave
There's no way out
Another compulsion
To which I surrendered