They people the town with dominoes - half price after dark It's a half masked, two-faced place to go Good thing the world's not flat - i'd be backing away from there The second hand jacket from the fire brigade tries to not look drenched While the damp umbrella in the corner hides a humble fifty pence You would have to hold us back Rod and alcohol combine, a glass of gin and "tonight's the night" A sobering thought springs to my mind... so I get them in There's the anecdote about an argument with the singer from jellyfish Made a secretive call to some friends of mine for a gift of twenty quid Just enough to get us pished... almost Another drunk pub quiz compare, another drink, just to make it fair I see it's almost afternoon... so i get them in Turn another page past the telly guide and the pissed cartoonist's strip Take a telephone trip to the lonely hearts' armchair party night Or explorers can buy a wife from bangkok One day everything turns out right, the next is the end of that era But i bottle up and keep it inside, i'm in shipshape Rod and alcohol combine, a glass of wine and "tonight's the night" A sobering thought springs to my mind... so I get them in