The Count has an eye on his ankle
And lives in a horrible place
He wants all your money
He's never at all funny
He wants to remove your face
And you might be thinking "What a romp this is"
But wait till you meet his accomplices
When you see Count Olaf
You're suddenly full of
Disgust and despair and dismay
In the whole of the soul of
Count Olaf there's no love
When you see Count Olaf
Count to zero
Then scream and run away
Scream, scream, scream, and run away
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run
Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run
Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die
Two women with powdered white faces
And one long-nosed bald man with warts
Things worsen and worsen
With the hook-handed person
And others with nastier parts
This evil and unpleasant group
Complete Count Olaf's acting troupe
The goal of Count Olaf is getting control of
The fortunes of urchins and orphans, hooray
I mean, horrors, Count Olaf
Is no laughing matter
When you see Count Olaf
Count to zero
Then scream and run away
Scream, scream, scream, and run away
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run
Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run
Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die