I'm home alone with two bandits at the door Got my pellet gun cocked and I'm ready for war Pop pop, I left off two shots In the groin, in the head, then I heard them both drop I'm a kid but I'm slick with my tactics And iced the sidewalk so they slipped on their asses But they're coming back for more Got my booby traps set as they crashed the door I got spikes, fire, broken glass, flames When they got close I swung paint buckets at their face Chasing 'round the house He got my leg until I put a giant spider in his mouth But I didn't get far They had me pinned against the wall wanting to do me real harm I thought I was in trouble Till my neighbor showed up and whacked them both with a shovel