When you took me home
You knew who you were taking
Not some Debbie Debutant
Standing in an apron, fryin' up your bacon
My house and my mouth
And my mind get kinda trashy
I've never been to jail
But hell, I wouldn't put it past me
So if you want the girl next door
Some Virgin Mary metaphor
Your cardboard cut-out on the wall
Your paper or your Barbie doll
With perfect hair and perfect dress
I'm really just the perfect mess
And I ain't nothing less or nothing more
So, baby if you want the girl next door
Then go next door and go right now
And don't look back, don't turn around
And don't call me when you get bored
Yeah, if you want the girl next door
Then go next door
♪
Sorry I ain't sorry
But I ain't your Marcia Brady
If I ever met her
I bet she'd probably hate me
'Cause you'd wanna date me
My heart and my head
And my bed can get real twisted
And you wouldn't be the first
To think you're gonna go and fix it
So, if you want the girl next door
Some Virgin Mary metaphor
Your cardboard cut-out on the wall
Your paper or your Barbie doll
With perfect hair and perfect dress
I'm really just the perfect mess
And I ain't nothing less or nothing more
So, baby if you want the girl next door
Then go next door and go right now
And don't look back, don't turn around
And don't call me when you get bored
Yeah, if you want the girl next door
Then go next door
♪
The thing that turns you on
Is what you'll wanna change
But you have a better chance
Of slowing down a train
If you want the girl next door
Some Virgin Mary metaphor
Your cardboard cut-out on the wall
Your paper or your Barbie doll
With perfect hair and perfect dress
I'm really just the perfect mess
And I ain't nothing less or nothing more
So, baby if you want the girl next door
Then go next door and go right now
And don't look back, don't turn around
And don't call me when you get bored
Yeah, if you want the girl next door
Then go next door
Here's a fun story
I feel like I'm talking a lot tonight
But I figured y'all wanted to hear some stories
Well I can tell you a story or two, but
So, when that song came out, one day Marine McCormack tweeted at me
"Hey Brandy Clark, I ain't no Marcia Brady either"
And then I was here at the hotel cafe on April 4th
Getting ready to play back in the little green room and the door opens
And in walks Marcia Brady
And it was real hard for me to be like, "Hey, Marine"
And not Marcia, 'cause I mean she looks, she looks just like Marcia Brady and
And she's aged really well
She looks about nineteen as opposed to sixteen
She'd have been here tonight but I guess she's on "Dancing With the Stars"
So anyways yes, that was a, that was a bucket list thing, you know
You never think you're gonna meet a Brady Bunch-er, and then
Here you are, you never know who's going to walk into your dressing room in L.A.