I took my baby home one night
After a picture show.
She said, "Rob, I'd like to take you in,
But first I need to know:
Is it my body that you want,
Or the real girl inside?"
So I looked deep into my heart
And I told her lies.
YEAH, I told her lies; I told her lies,
Big and little, long and tall,
Every shape and size,
And when she unlocked the door,
I knew I'd won the prize.
I couldn't tell her what I thought,
So I told her lies.
...
Well, livin' on love would not do;
She had to tie the knot.
We bought the rings and made the plans
Quicker than a rifle shot,
And when the justice said, "Now, do you swear?"
I gazed into her eyes,
And in a voice sincere with fingers crossed,
I told her lies.
Yeah, I told her lies; I told her lies,
Big and little, long and tall,
Every shape and size,
Till when I heard the word "forever,"
'Twas then I realized
I couldn't tell her what I thought,
So I told her lies.
...
NEXT
...
Now as the years went drifting by,
Temptation slowly grew.
I'd stalk a tramp from time to time;
I even slept with two,
But no matter how I betrayed her,
I made sure to keep it hid,
And every time she got suspicious,
Well, you know what I did:
I told her lies; I told her lies.
Well, I chased women long and tall,
Every shape and size.
She kept bein' faithful;
I kept up my disguise.
I couldn't tell her what I'd done,
So I told her lies.
...
Yeah, we lived on in perfect bliss
And then one day I died,
And as my soul flew heavenward,
I looked below and spied
A graveside filled with mourners
And everyone in tears,
And when the preacher rose to speak,
I could not believe my ears.
He said I'd been the kind of man
All others aspire to be:
A loyal friend, a loving spouse;
That rat lied more than me!
So fellas, if you want to stand tall
In humanity's eyes,
Just pay no mind to the laws of God;
Keep tellin' those lies.
Yeah, I told her lies; I told her lies,
Big, little, long and tall,
Every shape and size.
I shunned the good;
I spat on the true;
All virtue I despised.
I couldn't tell her what I thought,
So I told her lies.
I told her lies.