Ian was a DJ I met him on Avenue A I gave him my number because Why not? he was a DJ He was so good at texting but our real conversations vexed me So I moved on to the next thing because he was only good at texting Only good at texting Martin that was your name I met you on the One train You were super-duper hot One the One train You said you were a painter, mostly you were a waiter A stoner and a skater so I had to say "later" These are the boys that I dated in high school I thought they were so nice and I thought they were so cool These are the boys that I dated in high school They weren't very nice and they weren't very cool I remember Rocky, he was two grades above me Always wore a Bad Brains tee I remember Rocky He wouldn't dump his girlfriend He said she gave such good head And since her grandpa was dead, he couldn't dump her just yet He said she gave such good head I remember Beardy I think his real name was Reid We met at a Misshape's party and I just called him Beardy I told him I was twenty, I was sixteen so that's sketchy He found out and was angry that I told him I was twenty These are the boys that I dated in high school They weren't very nice and they weren't very cool These are the boys that I dated in high school I thought they were so nice and I thought they were so cool These are the boys that I dated in high school I thought they were so nice and I thought they were so cool These are the boys that I dated in high school They weren't very nice and they weren't very cool Alex Mowry, you were kinda mean to me I gave you my virginity I was seventeen, you were twenty-three We did it right before prom, I was scared to tell my mom It wasn't really the bomb, we did it right before prom We did it right before prom We did it right before prom