In the kingdom of the blind It's said the one-eyed man is king And in the kingdom of the bland It's nine o'clock on ITV I believe I've seen holograms With more substance than you Automatic doors don't open for you C-O-R-G-I (CORGI registered friends) C-O-R-G-I (CORGI registered friends) You meet up on a Monday with your CORGI registered friends You call Glastonbury "Glasto" You'd like to go there one day When they've put up the gun towers To keep the hippies away December sees Kitzbuehel Clad in Lowe Alpine Your children are painfully soulless Ralph's in Brize Norton C-O-R-G-I (CORGI registered friends) C-O-R-G-I (CORGI registered friends) You do Del Boy impressions with your CORGI registered friends For sale: gym equipment But now your jeans are too tight Amanda Burton on autopilot It's all you need each night I wear a tolerance robe I have the patience of Job But when I hear your wife's silly giggling At Ann Summers parties C-O-R-G-I (CORGI registered friends) C-O-R-G-I (CORGI registered friends) You go to medieval banquets with your CORGI registered friends Stick this in your Volvo (glove compartment) Stick this in your Volvo (glove compartment) Stick this in your Volvo (glove compartment) Stick this in your Volvo (glove compartment)