Some people don't know how to walk on the pavement these days
Well it's not that difficult, there's hardly a whole host of ways
Here they come, love's young dream, arm in arm, approaching me
Now, I'm not looking for your smile
I'm just asking for some single file
But it's not forthcoming so I have to assume
That this narrow path belongs to you
And therefore you must be
The Duke of Westminster and his good lady wife
So, I tell you what, I'll just walk in the road
How about I just walk in the road?
You stay as you are, and I'll just walk in the road
Well I feel I'm being cornered by a bloke who's just discovered Johnny Cash
He's pissed and he's boring and he's telling me all about the Man in Black
It seems the "Best Of" purchase at the superstore
Is indisputably the soundtrack for
A weekend in Riga with heavy drinking rugby pals
And I reckon him to be, the type of driver to beckon me
Across the road with an index finger
When at the kerb I linger
He should not presume my intentions
He should invite me with an outstretched palm
After all I could be reading the grid
Or standing aside for the Duke and his wife
Either way I'll not simply just walk in the road for you
I'll cross in my own good time when I feel
There's nothing in the outside lane
To run me over
I keep a wristwatch on this arm of mine
I keep my flies wide open all the time
And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die