Had I been a bigger man I would've read the room And swept these wicked witches right up off their brooms Had I been a bigger man I would have stalled them And sped off in a minivan mixing their cauldron And we should have known better Fumbling for the switch We lose the keys to the kingdom to a wicked witch And we never see home again But I am just a little boy in a colony of nudists Kerri-Jeanne rolls her eyes like she already knew this Yes I am just a little boy delivering your news I don't get a cent to comment on your blues And we should have known better Than to swing at every pitch The Cy Young award winner was a wicked witch And I never played ball again Somebody's chewing holes in the console's controls But I don't care if the spaceships are in the air Somebody's chewing holes in the console's controls But you don't mind if the wheel's not the one you're behind And we should have known better Than to deal in Mr. Fitch He's going all in blind with a gambling witch And we never seem normal again