Cautionary Tale
I won't, with your girdles and hose,
And your men slow as bears
I'll be your cautionary tale
Blank space, white noise, go til the paint runs dry
When it doesn't work sometimes you know but you don't know why
Yellow jumping, blue going, it comes together then it's there
It takes time, it's not fast, no you don't get a hit fast on that
And I'm thinking, So you fail-why don't you have a good time?
I don't know, the painting rests, won't end til it stops asking questions
Fine sweets,
You're a spoiled girl.
You want it all ways
But I won't...
How annoying, I keep saying things are like other things
There seems no help for it, the light work of a poet
Do you have many defenses-ha!-can you ever have enough?
Observing from my high cliff, the wind is fierce the coast is rough
And memories of loneliness, the loneliness of being born
Trial and error, watchful sight, the years it took to get it right
And I drank
Til my face was blue
Wouldn't you?
You think you can? It's a tough life
Not for the faint of heart.
What you look at hard looks hard back at you
With judgement and pity-can your soul bear such scrutiny?
Everything seemed like something else, bits of the world slipped into place
One has fight but is full of fear, one has none but is brave
Who would you rather sit beside, which one will take you by the hand?
What can't but must I recognize, everywhere my thoughts grow wild and
What of these others, these serious ones? Listen, we did our best
Acts of failure and of trust, stars without light hold the others up
Still I sat
At the feet of men
Fair witness
But I won't, with your girdles and hose
And your men full of air
I'll be your cautionary tale
For Joan Mitchell, Elizabeth Bishop, Fanny Howe, final verse quotes from Love and I