Have thoughts of the last memory pre the pandemic Was watching you pass In the hospice you lacked energy, eager to end it To God you had asked with pleas for ascension To the cosmos your mass was weak in intensive The thought was perhaps the creed and the remnants Of the doctrines would cast you into your prior self, the most high would help You paid the last tithe, he gave the last rites To lie in the grave, finally saved from that plight That deprived because the wager that displayed on that dice When your life, hit that shade of black ice Because around the same time my momma's water had broke Your cognitive was targeted for assaults by a stroke Weren't close, since my entry was concurrent With plenty of your hurting, now it's curtains, I'm sorry Sitting here wrapped in regret Trying to put these voices to rest Hoping this moment'll pass Conversating with the ghost of my past How many lives alcoholism's affected? How many died drowning sorrows in that next sip? How many tried bouncing off for an exit Only to get mired by doubt and the regression? Ya, it was August of '14 That daughter of yours seen your body upward Leaned at the wall and the door, she called 'em mournfully All distraught as they all got to the poor scene The procedures were given forthwith But your features were rigor mortis Torturous, found the liver sick with cirrhosis So down the River Styx where ya soul went Didn't know it, our families were dumbfound Wish you had a chance to glance at your son now Be grand seeing all the man he's become now All the standards, he's outran 'em and trumped now You'd be dumb proud, so the tears they come down Remember your voice, but it fades in the grieving Your disease, a generation bequeathed it Wish we all got you the aid that you needed, I'm sorry Sitting here wrapped in regret Trying to put these voices to rest Hoping this moment'll pass Conversating with the ghost of my past Each death, a shard of innocence fades Mnemonic for how far we are from simplest days Feels tectonic how hard they've been shifting my plate And what's on it, enlarging, proliferating the weight On my shoulder blades, as reality bites I'm 28 and my salary's height Has just passed, the minimum wage Can't cut slack putting ambition to waste At 25 and 20 it was glimmers of faith I identify I'm empty in a cynical place Can't minimize the envy in my sentiment's traits My innards tied it lends me to a pitiful phase My visual's dazed, who I'm losing believed in me most So I'm easily host to a load of regrets And I mope since I'm yet to be achieving these goals And I'm reaching 3-0, so This mix of choices just led to shit employment Feel like a disappointment Hard to smile, can't reconcile Some saw death without Seeing my success, if I let you down, I'm sorry Sitting here wrapped in regret Trying to put these voices to rest Hoping this moment'll pass Conversating with the ghost of my past