As I look around
I would have thought by now
That I would be closer
To feeling something somehow
Surely there's a reason I've been
Waking up from dreams without direction
Could it be that I forgot
What it was like to be whole;
Without this constant looming doubt?
I would have thought by now
That I would be closer
To feeling something, somehow
Knowing it extends so far beyond
Perceptions so vague to me
It's like a colour I'm blind to
That I thought I'd see by now
But nothing I feel is real to me
Why should I care?
There's failure ahead of me
I know for sure
But we can't go backwards;
Learn from your mistakes
You spend weeks in your cage
Just to walk in circles
Waiting for a change
Sometimes I feel that my conscience has healed
But I know that it's just imitation
And I hope that I have limitations
One day we'll see
With the thoughts in my head
And my head in my hands
To put it in words is a means to an end
But now
I would believe in anything
That brings you back to me
I would have thought by now
That I would be closer
To feeling something somehow
Knowing it extends far beyond
My sick lack of empathy
Like a colour I'm blind to
That I thought I'd see by now
But nothing I feel
Is real to me