From the moment he saw her,
He knew that he was for her
Nevermind she's a giant,
And completely reliant
On certain things he couldn't possibly begin to provide
They were wed in the autumn,
With a ring she had bought him.
But her folks were against it,
And they weren't in attendance.
"What's he wanting with a giant, what's he got to hide?"
Well, her face was horrid,
But her heart, was it solid gold
You see, late at night,
With young Malcolm asleep,
She would creep out the back door.
And despite the creaking floor,
She'd make her way onto the street
The wee hours of morn,
Is when she'd return,
With her crumbling body tired.
Her jewel eyes still bright and wired,
But slowly she'd drift off back to sleep...
Malcolm, Dust them,
You can't trust them
Use your feather duster, bust them
Don't play kind now,
Don't play blind now
There's only one way you can find out
Malcolm, powder,
Rock and doubt her
I can feel there's somethin' about her
Don't be scared,
It isn't fair that
You should bear her bad behaviour
For a time things were dandy,
Bought a house that looked fancy
Making love was quite chalky,
And she used to play naughty
Now all she plays is silly games of darting around the truth
And she once was persistent,
Now she seems non existent
Her rock body and wire frame,
Became harder to maintain
And to be fair rock-giants are much prettier in their youth
And her true colours showing
And her stories were growing old
You see late one night when the fires were out, the giant laid an egg
They laid there both in bed,
She said, "Malcolm, soon we'll have a child."
Malcolm, Dust her!
You can't trust her!
Use your dusting broom and bust her!
No more tears now,
It's quite clear now.
You have been sterile for years now
Malcolm, there's your proof right there of
A problem you just must take care of
Do as you oughta, fetch the water
There's more to her than brick and mortar
Lining up the town's men one by one,
He damps his broom, and dusts them down
And and when he's done he will compare it to what's on the giant's egg
When it hatches, if it matches,
Malcolm take your giant bride and
Smash her chest, take to her with your hammer and pry out her golden heart.
Malcolm, Dust 'em
You can't trust 'em
Use your feather duster, bust them
Don't play blind now,
Don't play kind now
There's only one way you can bust them
Malcolm, Dust 'em!
You can't trust 'em.
Use your feather duster, bust them
No remore so dig your claws, oh
Teach 'em that you're brave and awesome