I took my son to the mall the other day to see santa claus
The woman in line behind me says "Hey is that Santa Claus up there?"
I said "No ma'm, it's a Kenny Rodgers stunt double
Here's your sign
The other day I bought a wreath to go on our front door
As I was walkin' out the store a man stopped me and said
"Hey, are you going to hang that on your door?"
I said "No sir, it's a Christmas toilet seat cover
Got the idea from Martha Stewart
Here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign
You acted dumb, so have some fun and wear your stupid sign
Oh, here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign
You lost your mind, so pay the fine and wear your stupid sign
I hung those little Christmas lights on my house
You know the kind that blink on and off
My neighbour comes over and says
"Bill how do you get those to blink on and off like that?"
I said "I've got my son inside pluggin', unpluggin'
Pluggin', unpluggin', here's your sign
I took my family to buy a Christmas tree the other night
When we walked onto the lot this guy walked up to me and says
"Hey, y'all here to buy a Christmas tree?"
I said, "No sir, my son needs to go to
The bathroom and these trees looked really inviting
Here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign
You acted dumb, so have some fun and wear your stupid sign
Oh! here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign
You lost your mind, so pay the fine and wear your stupid sign
Have no fear when you're spreading cheer during Christmas time
The other night my family and I were walking
Through the neighbourhood looking at all the Christmas decorations
When we came across this house that had a manger scene
Now there was this whole group of people looking at it
When I overheard this one guy say
"Hey, are those the three wise men?"
I said "No sir that's ZZ Top doin' a farming concert
Here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign
You acted dumb, so have some fun and wear your stupid sign
Oh, here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign
You lost your mind, so pay the fine and wear your stupid sign
Here's your sign, here's your sign, here's your stupid sign
Have no fear when you're spreading cheer during Christmas time
And finally my wife and I were in a grocery store
The other day and I heard a woman ask the clerk
"Do you know what time midnight mass starts on Christmas eve?"
And in the holiday spirit I walked over and said "Here's your sign"
Happy holidays everybody